A Verbal Defense

As seen in the HEARTbeat and the Village Voice

“A Verbal Defense”

            “The best offense is a strong defense.”  This is an old idiom attributed to many people and heard at nearly every athletic event.  I think I can even remember hearing the Green Bay Packers great coach, Vince Lombardi, saying such words as he related his philosophies to interviewers.  Even though I would like to stick with my memories, the actual phrase is, “Offensive operations, at times, is the surest, if not the only (in some cases) means of defense.”  These words were pinned by our nation’s first president, George Washington in 1799.  Here was a farmer turned leader turned one of the greatest generals our country has ever known.  He banded together and led states’ militias to defeat the greatest army known to the world, the British army and navy.

            In military operations, the defense is a maneuver where you are static.  The approaches leading to your position are analyzed and fortified.  Evey aspect of the defensive position is accounted for, such as the weaknesses, vulnerabilities, strengths, weather, terrain, etc.  All this is done from the friendly forces aspect as well as from the enemy’s aspect.  In my time as a military intelligence analyst, I spent countless hours analyzing the enemy and all the aforementioned aspects relative to them.  I became a subject matter expert on the enemy force’s capabilities and vulnerabilities.

            In our day-to-day encounters, we have discussions with many people.  Some of those discussions are less than desirable.  Some of them can be downright ugly.  I ask you this: why do we think of the best verbal comebacks long after the heated discussion ended?  One answer, as a Christine Casper of Communication, Motivation, and Management, Inc. is quoted as saying, “If we are in a heightened state of agitation or anger we cannot make good decisions, we cannot reason well.”  I guess simple me would say, “It’s hard to analyze the situation when you’re in the heat of battle, verbal or otherwise!”

            It seems like these situations cannot be won in the heat of the moment!  Oh, but they can be.  What if I told you, the best offense is a good defense?  It’s true.  Some of the best leadership principles have come from examining the teachings of Jesus as well as some of the wisest men in the Old Testament.  One of the wisest men ever was King Solomon, the author contributed to writing Proverbs.  Proverbs 15:1-2 says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.  The tongue of the wise dispenses knowledge, but the mouth of fools pour out folly.”

            So many times, we want to respond in kind, a kind of “tit for tat” argument.  Pouring gasoline on a fire never extinguishes it, it only makes the flame larger.  Solomon’s wisdom extinguishes hateful speech and lowers the temperature in any discussion.  It’s sort of like our verbal body armor!

            Speak kindly and softly to those around you today.  It might just keep the flames of discontent from being lit in the first place!